You aren’t really doing much

Except drinking beer 

But also eating a ton of food

Almost like you got a crutch

As you keep telling yourself “Cheers”

You don’t look all that great nude

But anyway, insomuch

To say you got a situation here

Wouldn’t be all that rude

So when you tell your wifey we’re going dutch

Realize and absorb one of your greatest fears

You really gotta step that shit up, dude.