We’re all dogs 

In God’s hot car

Crisis after crisis

War after endless war

They keep piling up

On the trash heap of history

Known as mankind.

The wise, the funny, the clever, the brave

He can heal them all, even from beyond the grave

He’s got floppy ears and a cute little tail

He has a teeny tiny pet snail

He’s the coolest dude, that’s a fact

He approaches all matters with dignity and tact

His name is Oronzo, he’s a Vulpera Priest

Basking in holy light, he is a mother flippin beast.

Lynyrd Skynyrd blasting in the back seat

Thundering down the highway at 95

Those motherfuckers can’t again cheat 

Not as long as I’m alive

The thought of them taking the win

Is something I will not accept

Won’t disappear into history’s dustbin

Must fulfill the promise I have kept

But the terror in my gut begins to rise

As a State Trooper pulls me to the shoulder

This cop looked me straight in the eye

Told me “I had a car like yours, a little older.”

After that ticket, he told me to slow down

And then I drove back home

When I finally got home, my whole self felt like frown

I sat down, and opened my old tome

And I read, and I wept

And I deradicalized, and I kept

The promise I made to my only son

I’ll be with him until the job is done

And then I grew old

And saw him grow up

And to him I sold

The very car, decades ago, I decided to start up.

You slowly wake up, day after day

The weather’s really great, wish it would stay

And with a tap of a few buttons, it is suddenly so

Just how far can They take this, how far can it go?

Artificial rain, artificial friends

Thanks to Microsoft, you keep up with the trends

The money’s fake, the jobs aren’t real

But since you own nothing, what more can They steal?

Well, you still have your soul, your heart, your mind

So long as you do what They say, they will be “kind”

Another day here in utopia, it’s just so grand

Until achievement fatigue sets in, then, it’s bland

But we gave up all our freedoms, our rights, our voice

From now on, under technocommunism, we have no choice

Illegal to rise up, all criticism crushed

The AI version of Mussolini “himself” looked at Them and blushed

And so, with all soul in the world gone

I’ll drink another fake beer, on my AI-created lawn.

What’s the point of all that struggle

I’ll never amount to anything, I’m a filthy muggle

Climbing and clawing my way on up 

“You mean I did all that for nothing?” “Yup.”

Time to take out my butterbeer and frogs

I can’t afford London, all that posh and smog

Just me and the telle, all day and night

Ain’t nothin gonna steer me right

Until life slaps you in the face, your mouth open wide

Tony’s beautiful voice saying “Follow me, I’ll be your guide.”

Action by action, step by step we go

Will every decision you make, your future self you will show

So in the end, yeah, you should pay the ultimate price

Cause if you live in the stars, isn’t that still nice?

Just keep going, don’t stop being your better self

Because that is truly, the point of life itself

Just when you thought it was all over

When the bad times were done and through

Thinking life handed you a four leaf clover

When it was just brewing up more shit-stew

Just around the bend, when you least expect

Once again, you’ll be whacked back down

Every nook and cranny, you thought you checked

In more troubles and worries, you will soon drown

But isn’t that all that life is?

A never ending, up-and-down ride

You wanna call yourself the best in the biz?

There ain’t no time to run and hide.

Laundry and dishes, they never, ever end

Oh how I wish they would go away

“Oh, some help, I wish someone would lend”

Every single night, I contemplate and pray

And every night, into madness I descend

For all of it to just go away

But then, like clockwork, arrives a novel thought

“What an amazing, beautiful, perfect family I’ve got.”

That little scruffy fluff ball

So vicious, so licky, so sweet

I didn’t expect at all

That he’d make the animal kingdom complete

With his crazy stares, side eyes

His little melm out sometimes

Despite his short size

His barks alerted us from potential crimes

Despite him crossing the rainbow bridge

I know he’s still here with us

Expecting something from the fridge

Alerting us of those who are sus

Little Allister, beautiful soul

I will dearly miss the little boy

Within this house he played a big role

Of being our bundle of joy

Rest in peace, little Allister

I know you’re having fun up there

As I lay my head down to sleep

I ask myself about the promises I need to keep

Did you wash the dishes, clean up the house?

Did you go to Target, did you purchase a mouse?

You did some, and that’s great to hear

Keep it up, dude, the kingdom of Heaven is near

So as you awaken to a brand new day

Keep the oath, send a prayer, and approach it in a new way

You aren’t really doing much

Except drinking beer 

But also eating a ton of food

Almost like you got a crutch

As you keep telling yourself “Cheers”

You don’t look all that great nude

But anyway, insomuch

To say you got a situation here

Wouldn’t be all that rude

So when you tell your wifey we’re going dutch

Realize and absorb one of your greatest fears

You really gotta step that shit up, dude.